My mother-in-law insists on 'kitchen training' every weekend

My mother-in-law is pretty stubborn and really proud of her cooking. She always brags about how she used to run a kimbap place, how people lined up to eat there, and how it was the most popular spot around.

But honestly... is that really that important to my marriage right now? I get that running a restaurant is a big deal, but does that mean she gets to control my life as a daughter-in-law with 'kitchen training'? Am I wrong?

Ever since I got married, every weekend, my mother-in-law calls me over. She says I need 'kitchen training' and that daughters-in-law must carry on the family's cooking traditions. At first, I thought she just needed help. But after a few times, I realized it was literally 'training'.

She started with how to hold a knife, the stance at the cutting board, how many centimeters from the edge of the seaweed to spread the rice for kimbap, adding chili powder in two stages when making soup, and cooking rolled omelets on just one burner, patiently rolling it around...

I'm the type who just eyeballs it, tastes, and cooks the way my mom taught me at home. Isn't it fine as long as it's edible? But whenever I'm in front of my mother-in-law, I feel like I'm being treated like someone who's never cooked before, like everything I do is wrong.

The problem is, by my standards, my mom cooks way better and keeps things much tidier. When I visit my parents' house, the side dishes taste like home cooking, and the table is always set so neatly. The sink is always dry, and the fridge is perfectly organized by section.

On the other hand, in my mother-in-law's house, if you open a cabinet, the plastic containers are all mismatched. In the fridge, things wrapped in plastic bags are shoved in everywhere, and the kimchi containers are seriously showing their age... But even looking at a house like that, my mother-in-law insists her way is the best. She says she has the right because she even ran a business.

Honestly, in my head, I think, 'My mom would be shocked if she saw this here...' Am I a terrible person for thinking that? Or not?

My new apartment is also an issue. It's in the same apartment complex as my mother-in-law's place, so it's just one elevator ride down and a short walk to her place. She said she'd watch the baby when it's born next April. I work at a hair salon, so I have to go back to work then. Outwardly, I said 'Thank you,' but inwardly, I'm much more worried.

She keeps interfering with the kitchen too. When she visits our new place, the first thing she does is open the fridge. She rearranges everything according to her standards - the position of the side dish containers, the seasonings, even where the sponges go.

The next day when I try to cook, the salt is where the sugar was, and when I look for soy sauce, there's vinegar... It's so disorienting. This is my kitchen, so shouldn't I be comfortable here? Is it me thinking weirdly?

One time, I brought some of my own side dishes to her place. I took some japchae and a few kinds of seasoned vegetables that my mom made. She said 'It's delicious' to my face, but a little later, she asked me indirectly, 'Your mom's side usually a bit bland, huh?' 'What brand of soy sauce do you use?' After asking things like that, she eventually concluded that her way had a deeper flavor.

That day, I came home and felt unnecessarily sorry towards my mom. I felt like I made her be compared. But I didn't know what I should have done in that situation.

When I imagine the future, I get even more frustrated. When the baby is born, I feel like I'll have to make baby food according to my mother-in-law's recipes, and snacks, cookies, even the water temperature will be based on her methods.

If I make baby food based on recipes I find online or what the pediatrician recommends, won't she say, 'Don't feed the baby that in front of me'? 'I raised kids, I know this is how it's done.' I can already hear it.

My husband is always in an awkward position in the middle. To me, he says, 'Mom's just really by-the-book, just go along with it a bit.' And he just plays on his phone next to me. I'm the one standing in the kitchen for two or three hours listening to my mother-in-law, but my husband doesn't say a word.

Sometimes I even think this: 'If I don't set boundaries now, will I even be the owner of my kitchen later?' When raising the baby, will I be the mom, or will my mother-in-law be the mom and I'll be the helper? Am I overthinking this? Or not?

Of course, I'm grateful that my mother-in-law will watch the baby. I'm not unaware of that, but if the price is giving up my kitchen, my parenting style, my lifestyle pattern, then I'm not sure if it's a good trade.

If you were in my situation, would you all say 'Just endure it and get through it,' or would you say I need to draw a line from now on and say 'This is my way'? I'm really curious.

Am I being too sensitive, or do I need to create some distance from now on before it gets even harder? Objectively speaking, which is the right approach? Or not?

I wrote a long post because I wanted to hear opinions from everyone on 'Gyul-shi-chin' (Gyeol-hon-shik-chin-gu-ae-dong-up - Married Couple's Best Friend Community) T_T Please give me your opinions...