1. Japan: The Takeuchi Documents and Shinjomoji Main claims: Ancient Japanese emperors ruled the whole world (Basic knowledge). The four great sages (Jesus, Buddha, Confucius, Mencius) all studied in Japan and completed their training. Jesus didn't die on Golgotha; his brother died instead, and Jesus himself dipped to Japan, where he lived until 106. (There's actually a tourist spot in Aomori Prefecture, Japan, marketed as Jesus's tomb). One-line review: Gotta respect the creativity that Jesus was a study abroad student in Japan.
2. Türkiye: The Sun Language Theory Main claims: Central Asian Turks were the first human civilization. Every language in the world is derived from Turkish. They forcibly link words like the English 'God' or French 'Dieu' to Turkish. (Where have I seen this before...) One-line review: Our 'Brother Nation' bros' ultra-nationalism is world-class. All global languages are theirs.
3. China: Du Kang Jian, He Xin, etc., Western Civilization Sinocentric Origin Theories Main claims: English is actually just a Chinese dialect. Egyptian pyramids, Greek temples, Roman Empire? All built by Chinese people. Koreans' ancestors are Chinese. Western history is all fabricated fake history. One-line review: C H I N A (Sinocentrism)
4. Russia: Fomenko's 'New Chronology' Main claims: The ancient/medieval history we learn is a novel fabricated by those Western European jerks. Russia (Slavs) was actually both the Roman Empire and the Mongol Empire. Jesus was born in the 12th century and is connected to Russia. A mathematician claims this, so quite a few people in Russia seriously believe it. One-line review: The Bear Nation bros' scale is different. They just straight-up reset history.
5. Finland: Wettenhovi-Aspa's 'Egyptian Finnish Origin Theory' Main claims: Claimed in the early 20th century by Sigurd Wettenhovi-Aspa, a painter and author. "The beginning of human civilization is Finland." Ancient Egyptian civilization was also built by Finns. Evidence? Because it sounds similar to Finnish. The word Pyramid supposedly comes from the Finnish 'Pyhät raamit' (holy frames). Swedish, German, and Russian are all knock-offs of Finnish. One-line review: The venerable, long-standing 'Fin Empire' rivaling the 'Hwan Empire'!
6. Europe (Netherlands/Germany): The Oera Linda Book Main claims: People in Northern Europe (Friesland) invented the alphabet way back in 2000 BCE. They were the masters of the continent of Atlantis and ruled the world. Greek/Roman civilization? Yeah, we taught them all that, lol. The Nazis (Hitler's SS) saw this and went bonkers, saying, 'See? The Germanic race is the best.' One-line review: The original King-God Germanic saga that the Nazis stanned. (Though it was later proven to be a forgery.)
7. Indonesia: Borobudur Solomon's Temple Theory Main claims: King Solomon from the Bible actually lived on Java Island, Indonesia. The world's largest Buddhist temple, 'Borobudur,' is actually Solomon's Temple. The Queen of Sheba is Ratu Boko, the Queen of Java. They insist that the Indonesian place name 'Sleman' comes from 'Solomon.' One-line review: A country that believes in Islam (Indonesia) claims a Jewish king (Solomon) built a Buddhist temple (Borobudur). Religious Grand Unification!
8. Ukraine: Ancient Ukrainian Civilization Theory Main claims: Claimed by a professor named Valery Bebik. "Buddha is actually Ukrainian." (Claims that the 'Sakyas' (Buddha's clan) sound like Ukraine's Scythian 'Saka'.) "Jesus also came from the ancient Galilean tribe of Ukraine." Ukrainian civilization started 20,000 years ago, and even Hercules is Ukrainian. One-line review: Why do they love forcibly changing the nationality of Buddha and Jesus so much?
Honestly, these ultra-nationalistic novels are everywhere around the world, and I don't think anyone is stupid enough not to realize that they are just the obvious manifestation of inferiority complexes in sad countries that suffered trauma from being colonized or dominated by other nations in the past!
8. 우크라이나: 고대 우크라이나 문명설 주요 주장: 발레리 베빅(Valery Bebik)이라는 교수가 주장 "부처(Buddha)는 사실 우크라이나 사람이다" (석가족인 'Sakyas'가 우크라이나의 스키타이족 'Saka'랑 발음 비슷하다고 우김) "예수도 우크라이나의 고대 갈릴리 부족 출신이다" 우크라이나 문명이 기원전 2만 년 전부터 시작됐고 그리스 로마 신화의 헤라클레스도 우크라이나 사람임 한줄평: 부처님, 예수님 국적 강제 변경 시키는 걸 왤케 좋아하지
사실 전 세계 어딜 가나 이런 국뽕 소설들은 차고 넘치고 과거에 타민족에게 지배 당했던 트라우마 있는 못난 나라들의 뻔하디 뻔한 열등감 발현인 줄 모르는 바보는 없을거라고 생각해!
"We gathered to discuss global history LARPers, but we ended up discussing how our own leaders are Hwandangogi stans. The pot calling the kettle pseudo-historical, starring our current administration."
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