A while ago, a friend from grad school who was also my age hit me up. Saying "a few years" is an understatement—it had been a whopping 6 years.

At first I didn't recognize the number since it was new, but they said their name was [Name] and the voice was the same, so I figured it out right away (judging by the voice and mannerisms, it wasn't impersonation).

We exchanged pleasantries and chatted about this and that, until they brought up how their mom was really sick, and apparently, they couldn't afford the surgery fee, so the operation was halted.

And then they asked me for a favor: could I lend them some money?

"How much is the surgery fee?"

Even when I asked for the exact amount, they couldn't give me a number, just saying they'd be grateful if I could help as much as possible. I got a major red flag.

I know that Korea has excellent medical welfare, so dying because you can't afford surgery is practically unheard of. I know the local community center offers consultations for that stuff. I asked if they looked into it, and they mumbled something about not meeting the criteria or whatever, saying that wasn't an option either. 😥

Even if using various welfare systems means you might have to repay it later (or maybe not), it shouldn't be stopping the surgery right now. I just couldn't understand why they were asking me for this favor.

Anyway, if the friend's mom was truly sick, I genuinely felt bad and wanted to help. I had the means to lend that much money. So I made a suggestion.

"How about this: I'll come visit the hospital, say hi, and pay the hospital admin office directly by swiping my card for the bill."

They said thanks... and then never contacted me again.

If their mom was really sick and they truly needed the surgery money, they would have called me back, right? High chance that wasn't the case.

If a friend asks you for money, there's a good chance the reason they need it is a lie. Don't just lend the cash; offer to pay the bill directly for whatever expense they cite, and tell them to pay you back later. That's how you figure out if their story is legit.