I refined this based on the original post using Gemini.

Original post: http://m.todayhumor.co.kr/view.php?table=bestofbest&no=154336

👶🏻 A 6-Month Dad Shares the Newborn 'Force' (Mandatory Reading for Future Parents)

Hey there. I'm the dad of a 6-month-old baby. I'm going to give a totally unfiltered look at the newborn 'Force' for all the people who will be raising kids soon.

1. The Newborn, that Weak yet Powerful Being

The Secret of Birth: After 40 weeks of pregnancy, the baby is born. They average 2.xx~4.xx kg, slightly over 50cm tall. When you actually hold them, they feel like the size and weight of a 1.5-liter Coke bottle, and they feel so weak you think they might break, so you have to be careful.

* Seriously, it's best not to touch a newborn unless you're the parents.

Bone Secret: Their skull is split into 6 pieces to pass through the mother's narrow birth canal. The top of the head is the so-called 'soft spot' (fontanelle), unprotected by bone. If you touch it, you can feel it gently breathing and pulsing. (It fully fuses into a single skull within 2 years, max.)

Post-Birth Shock: Inside the womb, they didn't breathe or eat; they just lived comfortably at a consistent temperature. But as soon as they're born, they have to use their own lungs to breathe, eat and digest food, and the outside temp changes willy-nilly. The baby gets shocked by suddenly living a hard-knock life, and that's why they cry their heads off.

2. The Reality of Parenting: The 20-Hour Sleep Trap

The Truth about '20 Hours of Sleep': Books usually say newborns spend about 20 hours sleeping. That's true. HOWEVER, it says the *newborn* sleeps, it doesn't say Mom and Dad get to sleep. Yep, that's right. The parents don't sleep.

Tiny Tummies and 2-Hour Feedings: A newborn's stomach is about the size of an adult's thumb. They only drink about 50ml (half a vending machine cup) of formula or breast milk at a time. Since their stomach is tiny and can't hold more, you have to feed them every two hours. If you force it, they puke immediately.

Breastfeeding Difficulties: While breast milk is great, often the supply isn't enough, and the newborn has weak sucking power, so they don't eat well. If you leave them alone thinking they'll eat when they’re hungry, you can cause big problems. You have to forcibly wake a newborn every 2–3 hours to feed them, even if they're sleeping.

Burping is Mandatory: Once they've eaten enough, you have to burp them. You need to hold the baby and pat their back, and if you're unlucky, you'll be doing this for tens of minutes. If you don't burp them, they will puke 100% of the time. Babies’ upper gastric sphincters (the muscle that acts as a lid) are weak, so the puke comes right up, and if things go wrong, they could choke and die while lying down.

3. The Sleepless Baby and Mom's Pain

Erratic Sleep Patterns: Okay, it seems like they sleep for 20 hours, but not in two-hour stretches. It's 15 mins of sleep, 3 mins of crying; 10 mins of sleep, wake up, 1 min of crying; 30 mins of sleep, wake up, 3 mins of crying. If you don't pat and hold them when they wake up, they will cry infinitely, and your stamina will plummet rapidly. (Luckily, their tear ducts aren't developed, so they don't cry actual tears yet.)

Parents' Combat Time: In those short 10- or 20-minute windows when the baby is asleep, you have to eat, poop, sleep, mix formula, and sterilize bottles—all of it.

Diaper Changes: Just as their stomach is tiny, their bladder is even smaller. They pee and poop a TON. You have to change their diaper about 10 times a day. Newborns are so delicate you have to touch them gently, cutting their nails is a given, and you're terrified they'll get hurt even if you poke them slightly hard with a finger.

Developmental Characteristics: Newborns have poor eyesight (less than 30cm) and see in black and white, and their hearing is also very weak. Their sense of smell is somewhat developed, and their sense of taste is more sensitive than an adult's, so they can magically tell the difference between formula flavors that all taste the same to us. (If you give them a different kind than what they're used to, they refuse it.)

Why We Swaddle and Safety: Newborns are used to being crammed in the womb, so if their arms and legs suddenly start flailing, they get scared and surprised. So we wrap them up tightly. If, while wrapped, their head turns and gets buried in a soft pillow or blanket, they will immediately suffocate. It is absolutely forbidden to let them sleep somewhere too soft or on their stomach.

4. Mom's Body and Mind Post-Birth

Postpartum Depression: Due to extreme hormonal changes after birth, Mom is forcibly hit with depression (100% chance). The intensity varies depending on her usual personality, but depressive feelings will always come.

A Wrecked Body: If it was a C-section, the body is obviously a wreck; even a natural birth requires an episiotomy, meaning you can barely sit properly for days afterward. Hormonal secretion makes all joints soft, and the pelvic muscles are stretched out. (It slowly returns to normal over 100 days to 1 year. If you don't recover properly, it never goes back.)

The Ongoing Lochia: The placenta and byproducts that wrapped the baby inside the uterus keep coming out, like a period. Think of it as a full-time period for up to two months.

Extreme Dietary Restrictions: For food, you have to eat only seaweed soup for all three meals. Alcohol and smoking are obviously forbidden, and if you plan to breastfeed, caffeine like coffee and chocolate is also forbidden. Spicy and salty foods (even Kimchi is a no-go) are forbidden. It’s literally just plain rice + seaweed soup three times a day. Due to hormonal aftermath, teeth are also shaky, so you can't even drink cold water.

5. Nevertheless, The Conclusion is Different

The Bonding Process: At first, the baby isn't cute. It feels awkward, and you even think, 'Where did this tiny menace come from to ruin my life like this?' As you spend day after day together and go through hell, they slowly start getting cuter, and bonding happens. (They say breastfeeding releases bonding hormones, helping it form faster.) It takes several months before you naturally say, 'Aw, my little one.' If you don't feel that way at first, you spend a lot of time worrying, 'Am I a bad parent?'

The 100-Day Battle: Taking care of a newborn means fighting a 24-hour, sleepless match for 100 days while in the physical and mental state described above. After 100 days, things get a bit better, and you can even sleep for four whole hours.

Final Conclusion: If you fight through that hellish hardship and endure, at some point, the baby looks at you and smiles brightly.

That's all it takes. A Dragon Ball Senzu bean has nothing on this. Full HP instantly.

My partner and I had a good relationship even before the baby, but since the baby was born, I think we laugh out loud ten times more often every day.

Have a baby. You'll feel like you're going crazy because you have no money, but in return, your life gains meaning.

And tell your parents thank you. They went through all that suffering above, smiling, just for you.