He had hidden debts even before we got married, and I started finding out about them one after another starting from our honeymoon. I even took out loans in my name to pay them off for him, but it turns out they were all from illegal online gambling... He eventually blew our entire housing deposit, so we're finally divorcing. My in-laws are pretty well-off so they helped him out a lot, but the gambling addiction center told them to never pay it off for him again, so his mom is staying firm now and rooting for his 'rehabilitation.' Honestly, I was going to try to trust him and embrace him one last time despite the gambling debts, but he just got caught smoking again. He promised to quit even before we started dating, but I kept catching him since we were newlyweds, and then another pack turned up in his pocket recently. I think that was the final straw. I understood and forgave everything, but I felt like, if he can't even quit smoking for me, how is he ever going to quit gambling? We both have good jobs, good families, and great chemistry. He was such a family man that everyone thought we were the ideal couple, but nobody knows the true story inside. I feel the most sorry for my baby who just turned one... A part of me wonders if I should have just kept believing in him since he's going to the rehab center and even working a part-time gig at Coupang as a second job now. But the thought of being a 'divorcee with a kid' in my early 30s is still so scary. Since I'm someone who used to have prejudices against broken homes, I feel so guilty toward my child... I'll be okay, right? Divorcing was the right choice, wasn't it? Is gambling really something that can never be fixed? Please give me some courage...
Update: I received a lot of comfort from your sincere comments. Regarding the debts found early in our marriage, he told me they were related to his father's business and that he wasn't the one who actually owed the money, so I just believed him and moved on. Then I got pregnant and thought he'd do better for the family. Besides the debt issue, he was a truly great husband and son-in-law, so I didn't suspect much... Recently, on the day we were supposed to get our housing deposit back, he made excuses about the real estate agent and said there was a problem so we'd get it later. I actually thought it was the agent's fault and called them, but they said there was a misunderstanding and told me to talk to my husband again. That's when I found out it was all gambling debt... If I had known it was gambling from the start, I might not have divorced then, but I definitely wouldn't have gotten pregnant. I thought he'd quit smoking because I never caught him during my pregnancy, but he got caught again recently... Fortunately, my own parents have always helped me out a lot and it looks like I'll be leaning on them even more, which makes me feel so sorry and ashamed. I'll keep your comments in my heart and live even harder for my baby. Thank you everyone for your hard work this year, and Happy New Year!
"The consensus is a hard 'run'—gambling is a lifelong curse that even death can't stop, so protect the kid and don't look back."
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