I have no idea how to get my girlfriend to go on a diet.

I have no idea how to get my girlfriend to go on a diet.

I'm about 163cm / 60kg, and my girlfriend is 160cm and easily 85kg.

We've been dating for about 3.5 years since June 2022. Part of me thinks, 'Is there anyone else but her for marriage?' while the other part wonders, 'Can I really marry her in that state?'

In the past, whenever she brought up marriage plans, I'd give vague answers. When I subtly or directly suggested she diet, she'd dodge the subject. This cycle repeated until June 2024, when I suggested it again and she threw a total fastball at me: 'If I successfully lose weight, marry me!'

I said okay. I set clear conditions: 'Stay under 65kg for at least 3 months.' That's basically halfway to the average weight for a 160cm woman. And 3 months is half of the 6-month period usually required to prevent the yo-yo effect. I worried what if the weight came back after that, but I set those terms believing that if she could get that far on her own, she’d be able to handle the rest.

Fully expecting her to succeed, I even showed her my entire net worth for the first time.

Fast forward a year and a half to now. Just eyeballing it, she hasn't even lost 1kg.

I wanted to help so I tried dragging her to the apartment stairs, but she quit after 3 days throwing a tantrum. I asked her to go for walks, but she'd just count down the 30 minutes and look for an escape. I suggested we hit the gym together (we live 15 mins apart by subway), but she fled to a 'women-only' gym claiming it was cheaper. I don't think she even goes there once a week. I bought her a Galaxy Watch to track her stats, but she won't wear it because charging it is a 'hassle'...

Meanwhile, I lost 12kg myself through stairs, a stationary bike (bought for 30 bucks on a used app), calisthenics, and dieting—though I gained 3kg back during the end-of-year holidays. I started at 70kg. I thought we'd motivate each other and create some synergy, but I'm the only one doing anything.

There's no answer for this. I don't know what to do.

I want to ask for advice from fellow users here who are married or in relationships.

+ We tried Wegovy. She hated the nausea and she's scared of needles. From my perspective, she became dangerously lethargic—just lying around like a corpse. Since she's a kindergarten teacher, she said it was affecting her work and stopped the injections.

+ Moving this to the 'Concerns' tab because I really need to vent.