Hey, y'all~~ It’s been about 8 years since I ditched cycling, thanks to getting hooked on motos and the office grind... Seeing my rapidly growing belly fat and how winded I get from just a little movement, I figured if I kept this up, I'd be worm food before my 60th birthday party. So, I ordered the Titticaca mini sprinter, the one I always coveted as a second bike back when I rode roadies.
I happily picked it up on my day off, and after riding it for about an hour, the feisty young girl, Titticaca-chan, utterly destroyed this military-service-completed ahjussi's neck, spine, waist, shoulder blade, and ass with a horrific drop. Titticaca, the human torture device... Hnnnngh.
But this degenerate ahjussi with a broken brain, who desires this small and cute mini sprinter, shouted 'I'm into that shit!' and immediately splurged on a stem riser kit, bar tape, cleats, and tons of other things, planning to spoil it rotten.
“Hehe, gonna excitedly assemble this after work,” I thought, trying to install the stem riser kit. Darn it, unlike what the internet hucksters said—just pull out the stem and pop it in—the cables were ridiculously short. No way. Ah, I fucked up... Now this is getting way too big. Hmmm, hmmm.
So I bought a cable set... Since the project was already blown up, I thought, 'Might as well swap the handlebars too, screw it, let's do everything.' And I splurged again. The bike was clearly 500,000 KRW... Something went terribly wrong.
Shimano MTB flat/clipless hybrid pedals. They weigh the same as stock, but I'm satisfied because they're comfy.
In the process, the wrench didn't fit, so I ground it down with an angle grinder until it did. How's that look? LOL.
Dreaming of becoming Midosuji, I bought a super long, massive 17-degree, 120mm Uno stem, which was surprisingly lighter than the stock stem.
Ordered carbon spacers for that sweet drip/aesthetics~
The long-awaited AliExpress carbon aero handlebar. It dropped a whopping 100 grams compared to stock.
The stock handlebars were a bit narrow, so I ordered 440s. Wide and perfect.
Since it was an internally routed handlebar, I thought, 'Let's just try it!' I shouldn't have... I screamed 'FUCK!' about 387 times. I should've just tied the cables neatly on the outside, lol.
And while I was at it, I broke the shift cable end cap too, LOL. FUCK!
The next day I checked local bike shops, and they were all like, 'We don't sell those, buy the whole assembly for 80k or 100k!' So I ordered it online. I think it cost less than 10,000 KRW.
AliExpress mount, bell, and speedometer~ Is a 3,000 KRW speedometer for real? LOL. It's clean and nice.
And finally, my Titticaca-chan is complete... Ah, she's so beautiful. Riding it, I definitely found the light; I can ride for two or three hours now, but after a long time, the handlebars feel too far away... Oh right, Midosuji was a teenager...
This degenerate, pot-bellied ahjussi who finished military service decided to compromise with reality and 'graduate' to a 6-degree, 80mm carbon stem, lol.
I thought it was a carbon cup holder, but it was just plastic. Bamboozled by AliExpress!
Puncture kit and tool canister to hold the tubes are installed. Now doing the whole National Land Cycling Route is totally possible, baby~
While riding, I got curious about cadence, and I wanted a light that switched on from the handlebars, so I ordered again. Double dipping purchases is insane.
Ahhh... Carbon, carbon, hnnnnngh.
Now it's truly finished! I'm leaking just looking at it... *Gasp* I wanted to spoil her rotten, but now it's winter, damn it... Next spring, you're dead, Titticaca-chan ^_^
"The bike cost 500k, but the build cost a kidney. At least the 'RUEAL CARBON' pattern from AliExpress looks legit, you beautiful madman!"
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